So as a single mom, I have to deal with something that I hate to deal with: going back to dating. It has been almost 2 years since I had Emmalynn and since I was pregnant for just over 37 weeks, you can imagine how long it has been since I have been on a "date". Quite awhile. And to be honest, the thought of going on a date or dating again is completely EXHAUSTING. It reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte exclaims that she has been dating since she was 15 years old and is completely exhausted (not to mention the crazy hair, blochy face, and general hot mess that she was as she was saying this).
But that is absolutely how I feel. It is completely exhausting. There are so many guys out there that a girl has to weed through to get to one good one -- and that one good one may not even be "the one". I am sure guys feel the same way (maybe...) but as a single mom, a whole new aspect rolls into this "dating" thing -- my child. Since my life is my child and ensuring she is safe, fed, and happy, I do not really "go out" anymore. Paired with that and the fact that 90% of my friend are married and have children of their own explains why I do not "go out and socialize" anymore. For me, socializing has become playdates and gymnastics class and birthday parties. It is just the "nature of the beast" if you will. So because of this fact, I have joined 3 unnamed dating website services. Now, I am not exactly expecting to find Prince Charming. However, I am hoping to find someone that makes me happy and helps me to learn more about myself and more about relationships. But there are problems with this just like there are problems with trying to find your husband in a bar. The following are some of my biggest problems with not only online dating, but dating again.
1. Here is what I find in my inbox at least 3 times a day:
Random Guy: "Hey sexy"
Okay...honestly? We might as well be 15 and in an online chat room asking "age/sex/location?" If you are interested in having a conversation with me and going on a date or two and THEN calling me sexy, then awesome. But you start out a conversation like that and all I hear is, "I want to boink you." Negative, my friend. Negative.
2. We get to the point to where we are talking back and forth and then this happens:
Not so random anymore Guy: "What are your measurements?"
REALLY?
Okay, so at first I thought that you actually wanted to get to know me as a person. Turns out that what you know (which is very little) is acceptable enough for you to want to sleep with me. NO THANK YOU. No, I will NOT tell you my measurements. And no, I will NOT keeping talking with you.
3. We have been talking for a few days and he has not called me sexy and has not asked my measurements...and then THIS happens:
Guy I've gotten to know a little but still is somewhat random: "Have you ever wanted to have a threesome?"
Good Lord. Really? Don't put on your profile that you are looking for a relationship and then ask me if I want to have a threesome. You are NOT looking for a relationship -- you are looking for someone who wants to have a sexual relationship with you and another man/woman.
4. So you get to the point where you have talked awhile, texted awhile and then actually met in person and then they get mad when you won't sleep with them right away. UGH. Sex. ALWAYS sex. Really? God forbid you talk with someone, go on a date with them and then actually get to know them before launching yourself onto them.
So this happens all the time. About 3 of the first scenario each day, and one of each of the others a week (although I have not gotten to the actual DATE stage yet, I remember it from my pre-baby days).
I just keep faith that through all the muck and mess and bad guys and weird guys and "you should never be allowed to say that" guys, there will be ONE good guy out there. One that will open doors for me, pull out my chair when we sit down to eat, help me put on my coat, will want to sit next to me in the booth when we go out to dinner, someone who makes me laugh until I cry and someone who will hold me when I want to cry without judgement. Someone who will not only be my boyfriend/husband but be my best friend. And I really have hope that I will find that when I look to my good friends and my parents. So...it is worth it all, in the end.
Right?
Right?
Right. :)
