Even though Emmalynn is now a year old, I have quite a few friends who have had babies recently and will have babies in the new future so I am going to start blogging about my experiences with Emmalynn.
To start off, Emmalynn is my wonderful daughter, born October 20, 2010 at 11:10 PM. She was 7 lbs, 2 oz and 20 inches long. She was and has always been a good baby. I never had issues with her sleeping or eating. I was lucky enough to have a baby with no acid reflux issues or colic. But I did learn a lot...even just after giving birth. And this is what this blog is for -- some insight into the things that people do not tell you when you are a new Mom...even after the first few seconds of being a new Mom.
I have a friend who blogs and in her blog about things they DON'T tell you, she mentioned having the shakes after giving birth. THIS is ABSOLUTELY something they do not tell you. I remember them stitching me up after giving birth to Emmalynn and I was shaking uncontrollably. I was a bit embarrassed. I did not know what my problem was. I actually APOLOGIZED to my doctor and nurses for shaking so badly. My doctor said, "Katie, I would be worried if you were NOT shaking. It is completely normal to shake. You should be shaking." Great. Could have told me that before I actually gave birth that this was normal and natural. Or maybe in the 6 weeks of birthing class that Emmalynn's father and I went to.
Along with that, here are the following things that I wish people would have told me about childbirth and the first 6 weeks of becoming a mother...
1. The shakes. We talked about this. Enough said.
2. The pain after giving birth. I remember my sister said that after she had an emergency c-section with her first, having her 2nd child vaginally was the EASIEST experience she could have imagined for child birth. So, I expected a fairly smooth, easy experience. WRONG-O. After pushing for 3 1/2 hours, Emmalynn was delivered by forceps and causing some internal tearing and a third degree tear. No one told me that you use your vagina muscles to stand, sit...BREATH. I actually remember finding a way to ROLL into bed so I did not have to sit on the bed to lay down. It was THAT bad. No one, not even my friends who had given birth just months before me, told me of this potential pain.
3. The bleeding after birth. In birthing class, they tell you that after you give birth vaginally, you have a normal flow period for about 3-4 weeks. Liars. The worst liars. The biggest liars of my life. I was bleeding for 5-6 weeks and it was NOT normal flow. It was heavy and embarrassing at times. I never knew I loved the huge pads or the big mesh underwear SOO much until after giving birth.
4. Breastfeeding. I had known many women who breast fed and either were not able to or something prevented them from doing it. I also saw them beat themselves up over and over again because they could not do this. This is something I could never understand. So, when I found out I was pregnant, I told people that I planned on breastfeeding, but I knew that I would have to go back to work and even if she was drinking my milk, it would be from a bottle anyway. I swore to myself that I would not think of myself as a failure if I could not produce enough milk or Emmalynn is not able to breastfeed. I told myself that this did not make me a bad Mom and I should not punish myself for it, just do the best that I can. After giving birth, I lost a lot of blood and I was unable to start trying to breastfeed until about 1 1/2 days after I gave birth. And with that I was so weak that I could not do it. I tried a few times at home, but being in so much pain (refer to #2) I was not able to sit up for long periods of time. So, I pumped. I did this for about 5 weeks before my supply all but depleated. I should have drank more...I should have ate more...I should have pumped more often. It is all true...I just choose to not hate myself fo the things I could not do. I knew I was a good Mom even if I could not do it. I wish I could make EVERY woman feel this way.
5. Sleeping in the crib. After Emmalynn's father and I brought her home from the hospital, I had planned on her sleeping in her Pack N Play bassinet in my room, at least until I went back to work from maternity leave. Well, we get home and Emmalynn's Daddy swaddled her up and put her right in her crib. And here is the best part....SHE LOVED IT. And I was not going to mess with that. So...she slept in her crib from day one at home. And she sleeps in her crib now. No transitioning, no fussing, no worries. She did so well. I think I am a better Mom because I allowed her to be there and do that. I would never do it any other way...and I will do it this way in the future, too.
6. Babies spit up...A LOT. A LOT. Like we would think it is puke...it's not. It is spit up. A LOT of it.
7. Formula diapers are WAY different than breastmilk diapers. WAY different. Yeah.
8. Having your child fall asleep in your arms is the best feeling ever. But put them in their crib. You need to sleep, too.
9. SIDS. Now, this is something EVERY parent worries about (and if they don't...pretty sure they shouldn't be parents). My daughter is 15 months old and I STILL go into her bedroom in the middle of the night and lay my hand on her back to make sure she is breathing. But I was not a paranoid mother in the beginning about SIDS, nor am I now. I know they say there are things you should and shouldn't do in order to prevent SIDS, but lets be honest: if you put a blanket in the crib around your baby and she turns her head into it and suffocates, it is not SIDS. That is suffocation. Or if your baby sleeps on her belly and her head down and them suffocates because she cannot move her head, that is not SIDS. I figure they call it Sudden Infant Death Syndrome for a reason -- there is no reason, it is sudden, and they have no idea what actually causes it. So Moms, just do everything you are supposed to do -- swaddle them, put them on their back to sleep (unless your baby has AR...but that is an ENTIRELY different situation), do not put stuffed animals or loose blankets in the crib (especially when they are REALLY little), etc. Do those things and sleep peacefully, occasionally getting up to check on your little one. And just thank God you have that little baby every day. Never take a minute for granted.
I wish I could currently thing of a 10th item to mention for the first 6 weeks of your baby's life...but I cannot. I think the message to take away here is that there are a TON of things they do not tell you. There are a TON of articles you can read online or in different books/magazines that can make you a worrysome, paranoid Mom. Just try not to take them TOO much to heart...you may miss your baby being a...baby.
More to come soon!!
