Mommy Time

My sister started to have babies when I was 17. They are now 8, 7 and 5 years old (yes...multiplied like bunnies, people...bunnies...). Not to mention that after college, my friends started to get married and have babies as well.

Now, I think we all know that Emmalynn's Dad and I are not together. When I got pregnant, we were dating and then we realized that we were not sure what we wanted from each other, but knew we were good friends and wanted to keep it that way. And we have. Do we argue? Absolutely. But we are good friends and put our daughter first. I would not have it any other way.

But being a single Mom has been tough. I am so lucky to have a support system like my family and like Emmalynn's Dad but there are still things that I do mostly by myself. For the most part, I take care of Emmalynn by myself. Her Dad is there whenever I need him and whenever I ask...but I do not ask too much.

And this brings me to my point for this blog -- why is it that as mothers, we do not take time for ourselves? Until I became a mother, I was the one preaching to my sister, her friends, and anyone else who was a Mom that in order to be a great, effective mother you have to take time for yourself. And that means more than grocery shopping by yourself. It means getting a pedicure, manicure, massage, shopping or even just driving around alone in your car and taking time for yourself. In order for your kids to see that you effectively raise them and love them, they need to see that you love yourself.

Then I had a baby.

I still COMPLETELY agree with what I said before. But let's be honest...I have spent ONE night away from Emmalynn. One. And that was because I absolutely HAD to go to Omaha for a new job. And I cried half way to Omaha. Coming up in March, I will be spending 4 days in Colorado with my best friend and her new, beautiful little baby (who will be here ANY day!!) and to even think about it brings on a small panic attack.

But it is really hard to take time for myself...other than grocery shopping. I struggle to find time for just me and my friends...and let's be honest...my friends with kids struggle to do the same. But that does not mean it does not need to be done. We need to get together with our girlfriends and go have pedicures or go shopping...try on dresses that you can never afford...have a few cocktails and sing some karoke! But how do we do this without feeling the "Mommy Guilt"?

Simple answer -- we don't. We are going to feel the Mommy Guilt no matter what. But that should not stop us from doing it. We need time for ourselves...time to grow...time to just be friends with our friends and not be a Mom or a girl friend or a wife or partner.

So I challenge all of you Mamas to get in touch with your friends, send your Facebook messages and mass texts, and do SOMETHING with JUST your girlfriends this month. And savor and love every minute of it. And then do it again next month...and the next month...and so on. Trust me, it is worth it! And you are a better Mom for doing it! :)