1. I love Colorado. I LOVE it. When I say I want to move there someday, I am not lying. If I could move there tomorrow, I would. Of course, nothing is as simple as that. But if I could, I would. When I got home and was driving from the airport home, I started to head west and I did not see the mountains and I felt my heart sink. To say that I feel like Colorado is somewhere I want to live is an understatement...and I really hope I am able to do it someday (sooner would be better than later!). 2. I have to cut myself some slack. I have been used to living up to this person -- the one who can do it all. After I left Central College in 2006, I started to work full time, which I did until I graduated in 2010. And I didn't stop there -- even though I was pregnant, I started graduate school in June of 2010 and continued that for year until I decided that teaching is what is really my passion. So I was used to working full time, usually with a part time job as well, and being a full time student. THEN I got used to being pregnant, working full time and being a full time GRADUATE student. And then I was a single mom, full time student and working full time. More than once, the people close to me would say I reminded them of Sarah Jessica Parker's character in the movie, "I Don't Know How She Does It." And honestly...I don't know how I did it, either. I STILL don't know how I did it.
But with my Dad losing his job and my parents needing my help, things have been even crazier. Now I want to take this opportunity to say that my parents have helped me out time and time again...I do not have an issue helping them. I am glad that I am able to help them. But it has definitely added stress to my life. And it is just what tipped me over the edge and gave me a reality check: I am NOT superwoman...nor is anyone expecting me to be. It is okay for me to say I cannot do it all. It is okay for me to admit that it is hard and I am stressed. It is okay for me to take a break from school. IT IS OKAY.
3. I need to get my life in order. I need to take ahold of my debt and start making sure it goes away. I want to set a good financial example for Emmalynn and the only way I can do it is to make sure that I model that, starting now. Hopefully I am able to do this with the help of family, friends and of course, financial counselors.
I guess the point of this blog entry is to show you that you CANNOT do it all. It is OKAY to admit that it is too much. And not only working Moms have this problem -- I know that many stay at home moms also feel this pressure to do everything and be everything. I feel like it is a double edge sword -- Moms that are Working Moms are always feeling guilty that they are not able to stay home with their kids. They are missing out on the first crawls, their first words, their first steps. Working Moms feel as though they are missing out on...everything. And then there are Stay At Home Moms -- although they are at home, raising their children and taking care of the home, they feel that guilt -- am I doing enough? Am I contributing enough? Should they be in daycare for more socialization? No matter WHAT you do...as a Mom, we never feel as though we are doing enough.
So I hope that you are having your "I don't have to be superwoman" epiphany soon. I am glad I had mine.
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